What’s your priority really?

To be a success as a man many times can mean something singular:

Money, looks, marriage, kids.

If you've got one of them ‘right’ then you're a success.

To be a success as a woman, in my experience, it's got to be all. 

Let's dive in.

01.
Money

For a man, you can be a billionaire with no hair and a portly figure and society says he still gets the ‘hot girl.’ He's a success. For a woman, I can't ever imagine saying, as long as I'm a millionaire, I'm totally fine being obese or my hair falling out. I don't want money in lieu of other things. I want it all.

02.
Health

I am thrilled that I've maintained the 50 pounds of weight loss I experienced last year. It's important to me. But I haven't chosen to body build and shelf my career or my free time. For a guy, you can get pretty far on your physical looks. And I guess for a woman, we can too. But for me, you know what's coming. I want it all.

03.
Motherhood

This one brings some guilt to me that I've been fighting in therapy for years. I love being a mom. My son and I are two peas in a pod, and he brings me so much joy. I've tried to stay at home. I left my role at a mortgage company to stay at home for the 8 months prior to kindergarten. That was a gift, but I knew there was an end date to it. I did transform my life entirely into a stay-at-home mom during that time period (motherhood was my sole focus and priority). The other career break I took, my husband and I kept the same shared schedule as we always had, because I was building a business and exploring life. For me, it has to be a balance. I wasn't made to solely be Keegan's Mom. He'll be leaving me in a few years if I've prepared him well. I want it all.

04.
Marriage

Like the stay-at-home-mom life I sampled out, I have never had the desire to be a stay-at-home-wife. There have been seasons where we have talked about it. And my husband knows me well and has told me ‘no'. Wait - what? 

You read that right. He led me and told me no.

He knows I'd be working for free all over the place. Volunteering, serving, running here and there. Our hearts are both in it to win it when it comes to generosity. But we learned years ago for us that was going to mean bringing our God given skills and abilities into the marketplace, make money for them, and then sharing that money generously with the church and other causes we believe in. We'll buy things and then give them away to others. We will build things and then invite others to come enjoy them with us. We will spoil our friends and family. And we will do it all together. 

Marriage is freaking hard. Step-parenting is one of the most challenging experiences I've ever had. But as much work as we put into our home, our kids, our work and our personal appearances, we put that much and more into our marriage. You're reading this today while I'm in the DR soaking up the sun. And while you may say, “it must be nice,” we say - it's a priority to get away together and laugh and play. This is a big one, friends. If you're married, you have to get this one right. I don't feel like I can get it all unless I'm being the wife I know God called me to be.

Loving it?

If you're loving what you're learning about here, don't forget to listen to my podcast. 

I released an episode last Tuesday focused on negotiating pay for women. 

You won't want to miss.