A Righteous Woman: Lessons from Tamar

Think back to a sermon you've heard or read that acknowledges God’s unwavering loyalty to His people, even when they don't obey His commands. A couple of weeks ago, I discussed Sarah, who took matters into her own hands in trying to have a child, yet God remained faithful despite her actions. I grew up in a more legalistic church environment, where 'fire and brimstone' was preached more often than grace and forgiveness.

Enter stage left: Tamar, a Canaanite woman who marries Er, an Israelite. Er is put to death (the scripture suggests it was due to his sinful behavior). According to the law, Er's brother, Onan, is supposed to marry Tamar to produce an heir. Now, if my husband passed away, I wouldn’t be thrilled about marrying my brother-in-law. Yet, Tamar marries Onan, who selfishly avoids creating an heir with her to keep the estate for himself. He repeatedly avoids impregnating her by pulling out during sex.

Onan is also put to death for his sin. The next son, Shelah, is too young to marry, so Judah, Tamar's father-in-law, sends her back to her father's home. Judah seems to blame Tamar for the deaths of his sons, leaving her twice widowed and living in shame.

If you know, you know… things are about to get even messier.

Judah's wife dies, and Tamar knows he isn’t the most virtuous when it comes to sexual matters. Seizing an opportunity, Tamar disguises herself as a prostitute. Judah, not recognizing her, pays for sex, and Tamar becomes pregnant. When Judah learns of Tamar's pregnancy, he demands she be burned for her perceived immorality. Yet, when she proves the baby is his, Judah declares her righteous.

Many struggle with the idea of Tamar being righteous. However, she was honoring her commitments. She married into a family with a duty to provide an heir, which her husbands failed to fulfill. So, Tamar took matters into her own hands.

This story is a powerful reminder that God honors the messy and loves the impure despite their failures. Tamar's choices were far from ideal. It’s a shocking story, sometimes hard to follow, and easy to judge. Thankfully, our personal sins aren’t published in a book read by billions. Just thinking about it makes me cringe.

While I don’t condone Tamar's actions, I am inspired by her story and grateful God included it in the Bible for us to reflect and learn from. May it be so.